Saturday, April 28, 2012

Dear sweet Mika

Dear Mika,
Dear sweet girl, I have decided to give you this name in my letter to you because it means "Gods Child". You may not be anyone else's child, but you are definetly Gods. Mika I have loved you since the day I first saw your photo on another blog. For over a year I have wondered why you wait still, why no one has come forward as your mommy. Not too long after I started praying for you I started to wonder, has your mommy not come because I am she? Has God led me to you because you are supposed to be my daughter? My husbands daughter? My kids' sister? I believe so Mika. I pray every day and night that God shows me the way to you. I pray that He wraps you in His love. I lay in bed at night wondering, did anyone hold you today? Did anyone hug you? Have you ever heard the words "I love you", Or "Я тебя люблю"? I hope so, but I have doubts. I wonder if you are scared, hungry, sad, hurting. Who comforts you when you have a tummy ache? Does anyone know exactly what to do to make you laugh? Do you ever have anything to even smile about? I know we could give you a better life, a life you deserve. My heart aches thinking of you spending day after day in a crib alone. If I could, I would come get you tomorrow. I keep thinking nothing, no one, should be standing in my way. There's a beautiful song I listen to often, and it always makes me think of you. It's called A Thousand Years. It's so beautiful, just like you. My favorite part "beauty in all she is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me". I will fight for you Mika. I will not give up. I will be brave. But you must be too. I know, you have been for 5 years, but you need to fight a little longer. Until you are home with your "matb", whether that's me or someone else, I will see that your life is not taken for granted. Until then Mika, listen to God whisper to you. He will tell you that you are not a mistake, that you are loved, you are wanted, your life is worth saving. I love you sweet Mika.

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